She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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