I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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