No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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