Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
