last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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