I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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