i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
