Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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