every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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