Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I forget how to act sober
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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