who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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