youre lurking in front of me
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
