I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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