i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
