was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
