No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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