Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Randomize
