is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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