That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
