YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
