Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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