Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
