he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
