What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
