someone threw a dead crab at me
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
