who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
