I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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