i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
