Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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