It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
