Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She told me I should be a condom model.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
