so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
