His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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