Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
