a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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