i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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