Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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