This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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