you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
