Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
