i just wanna soil my oats bro
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
