matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
if only i could text you this smell
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
