I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
