After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
honey bunches of taint.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
