Buhtt sex?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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