You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
