My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
