i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
