Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
