Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
