he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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